Dammit, Santa

from Christmas Boogie by No Funeral!

	/

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lyrics

Santa Clause, what the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on?
This isn't what I asked for at all - no wait, let me rephrase
This isn't even remotely close to what I asked you for
What's the point of making a list if you don't check it twice?

Dammit, Santa, you ruined Christmas
My Mom punched my Dad, but YOU ruined Christmas
(My brother's back in prison)
This year I don't wanna see your fat face
Believing in you was my first mistake

This year I made my own list and I checked it twice
To no surprise YOU'RE the one who's naughty and not nice
I fixed you milk and cookies but sugar I could not find
Instead I used a lethal dose of cyanide
I set bear traps up on the roof
Wrapped the chimney with barbed wire
If you somehow make it through, I'll set your ass on fire
I lined the chimney with kerosine and as you go up in flames
You'll feel the pain I felt on that fateful Christmas day

Don't know how but you managed to burn my house to the ground
The only gift I got this year is revenge because we're homeless now
Better lock up nice and tight because I'll find a way
To exact my sweet revenge - happy holidays!

Dammit, Santa, you ruined Christmas
I'll hunt you down because you ruined Christmas
I already know where you live - at the downtown mall
I'll bide my time because revenge is the greatest gift of all

credits

from Christmas Boogie, released December 25, 2015

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No Funeral! Roseville, California

No Funeral! is the tale of two roommates writing songs about the tragedy and triumph of everyday life.

Making depression fun again!

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